Sand, Surf, and Several Poor Life Choices: A Pommy's East Coast Adventure
Six months of pulling pints in Clapham funded this mad journey up Australia's east coast. Armed with a questionable van named Bruce, SPF 50, and an alarming optimism about my driving abilities on the wrong side of the road, I set off from Melbourne to see how far north I could get before my money or sanity ran out.
Six months of pulling pints in Clapham funded this mad journey up Australia's east coast. Armed with a questionable van named Bruce, SPF 50, and an alarming optimism about my driving abilities on the wrong side of the road, I set off from Melbourne to see how far north I could get before my money or sanity ran out.
Melbourne to Sydney: The Great Ocean Road Detour (Days 1-5)
Picked up Bruce (a 2002 Toyota Hiace) from Travellers Autobarn in Melbourne for $65/day. First lesson: Melbourne's hook turns aren't a joke - you really do turn right from the LEFT lane to avoid the trams. Nearly took out a tram before escaping toward Torquay.
The Great Ocean Road (B100) stretches 244km from Torquay to Allansford. Started at 7 AM to beat tour buses. Fuel stops are regular but prices jump 20c/liter in smaller towns - fill up in Lorne or Apollo Bay. The Twelve Apostles are free to visit, open sunrise to sunset. Only eight limestone stacks remain after centuries of erosion. Parking fills by 10 AM in summer.
Sydney Arrival: Two-day drive covering 1,100km via Princes Highway (A1). Stopped overnight in Eden ($25 at Garden of Eden Caravan Park - basic but clean). Sydney tolls are electronic - rental vans usually have e-tags but double-check or face admin fees.
Accommodation Tip
Accommodation : Johanna Beach Campground ($33/night) has powered sites and hot showers. The sound of waves all night made up for the hard ground. BIG4 Apollo Bay ($45-65/night) has better facilities and a camp kitchen that saved money on meals.
Sydney: Beaches and Bad Decisions (Days 6-10)
BridgeClimb Sydney
$174 for Dawn Express (cheapest option). Booked online two weeks ahead for a small discount. The 360-degree sunrise views and guide's stories about the bridge's construction workers made the early wake-up worthwhile.
Wake Up! Sydney Central YHA - $38/night for an 8-bed dorm with harbour views from the rooftop. Kitchen facilities and free rice/pasta helped stretch the budget. Location near Central Station meant easy access everywhere.
Bondi to Coogee Coastal Walk: 6km, 2 hours with photo stops. Free and spectacular. December water temp: 20°C - locals in wetsuits while tourists brave it in bikinis. Each beach has its own character: Bondi for people watching, Bronte for families, Coogee for actually swimming. Free electric BBQs at each beach - grabbed sausages from Woolies for a $5 lunch with million-dollar views.
Blue Mountains Day Trip
Train from Central to Katoomba - $16.20 off-peak return. Three Sisters lookout is free and genuinely spectacular. Scenic World combo pass: $49 for all rides. The railway claims to be world's steepest - felt like it. Pack lunch as Katoomba cafes charge Sydney prices.
Byron Bay: Where Hippies Meet Hipsters (Days 11-15)
Surf Lessons
Went with Mojosurf - $69 for 3-hour group lesson including board and wetsuit. Main Beach is forgiving for beginners. Stood up exactly twice. The instructor said that was "pretty good for a Pom." I'll take it.
Sydney to Byron: 770km, 10 hours with stops. Greyhound bus is cheaper ($89-120) but takes 14 hours. Stuck with Bruce.
Pacific Highway stops: Coffs Harbour Big Banana - entry free, though everything inside costs. Fuel consistently cheaper at independent servos than big brands. Port Macquarie's Town Beach is a perfect halfway swimming stop.
Arts Factory Lodge: $35/night dorm bed in the Buddha Gardens section. It's an institution - sprawling grounds, random art installations, and yes, the resident python in reception is real (in a tank). Free yoga at 6:30 AM was ambitious after their famous Wednesday night party.
Cape Byron: Australia's most easterly point (153°38'E). The 3.7km lighthouse loop track is moderate difficulty with stellar views. Lighthouse entry: $8. Sunrise here at 4:45 AM in December - shared with about 50 others, not 500 like Bondi.
Noosa to Cairns: The Humidity Increases (Days 16-21)
Fraser Island (K'gari) Warning
3-day self-drive tour with Dingo's - $449 including permits, camping, food, 4WD. You drive on the beach at low tide only - tide times are literally life or death. Lake McKenzie's crystal clear water made every bump on the inland tracks worthwhile. Dingoes are everywhere - $10,000 fine for feeding them. They will steal anything not locked up.
The vibrant coral and marine life of the Great Barrier Reef - worth every penny of the day trip cost to experience this underwater world.
Noosa: Flashpackers - $32/night dorm, great location. Noosa National Park Coastal Track: free, well-marked, 10.8km return to Hell's Gates. Spotted three koalas near Tea Tree Bay - look up, move slowly. Noosa Main Beach has gentle waves and actual parking if you arrive before 8 AM.
Airlie Beach: Magnums Backpackers - $28/night. It's party central, fair warning. The lagoon is free and preferable to the beach (stingers). Saturday markets at Lions Park (8 AM-1 PM) have fresh produce at half the supermarket price.
Whitsundays Day Trip: Ocean Rafting's Northern Exposure - $164 includes Hill Inlet lookout, two snorkel spots, and stinger suit. The silica sand at Whitehaven really is that white - it doesn't retain heat so you can walk barefoot even midday. BYO water bottle - they have refill stations.
Cairns: Gilligan's Backpackers - $30/night, party atmosphere but clean. The Esplanade Lagoon is free and usually full of locals in the evening. No beach in Cairns city - the mudflats are home to crocodiles. Night Markets (Wed-Sun) are touristy but fun for souvenirs.
The iconic Surfers Paradise skyline on the Gold Coast - a stark contrast to the natural beauty found elsewhere along the East Coast.
Wild kangaroos are a common sight throughout the journey - these ones were spotted near a campground outside Cairns.
Great Barrier Reef
Great Barrier Reef : Reef Magic Cruises - $275 for full day at Moore Reef including lunch and equipment. Glass-bottom boat tours included for non-swimmers. The underwater observatory was surprisingly good. Saw two reef sharks, a turtle, and more parrotfish than I could count. Motion sickness tablets essential - take before boarding.
The Verdict
The East Coast is a backpacker highway for good reason - it's set up for people like me who have no idea what they're doing. Yes, everyone's doing the same route, but there's comfort in that. The infrastructure makes solo travel feel safe, and you're never really alone unless you want to be.
Best moments weren't always the famous sights - swimming in a random creek near Mackay to cool off, sharing Bruce's kitchen facilities with a German couple who taught me to cook kangaroo, watching locals fish at dawn in Yamba while nursing a coffee.
The Verdict
Money-saving tips that actually work:
Woolworths shops before 7 PM for marked-down meat
Free campsites exist - WikiCamps app essential
Most beaches have free BBQs and showers
YHA membership pays for itself in three nights
Goon (boxed wine) is terrible but $10 for 4 liters
Reality checks:
"Deadly" animals are mostly avoidable with common sense
Everything closes early compared to Europe
The sun will destroy you - SPF 50 minimum
Distances are huge - podcasts essential
Hostels are 50% Brits, 30% Germans, 20% everyone else
Would do it again tomorrow, but maybe clockwise next time.
Zoe Mitchell is currently saving for Tasmania while perfecting flat whites at a Melbourne cafe. She still can't surf. ■
